Archive for June 18th, 2007


Shave And A Haircut, Too Bad

June 18th, 2007 by Oskar Kennedy

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Why oh why? Delilah?
- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
  Samson has been asking himself the same question since Long Ago, BCE. Delilah was Samson’s wife; she coaxed him into revealing that his long hair was the secret of his Herculean strength, and then gave him a quick trim and betrayed him to his enemies. Fortunately for Samson, Old Testament God (before he got all New-Agey and lame) was cool with guys who bludgeoned hundreds of non-believers to death, so he got his revenge in the end.

  I always think of this story when Trolling Fundies decry the morals of modern entertainment. Here’s a tale prominently featuring thousands of beating deaths. At the end, the hero commits what can only be called a low-tech suicide bombing; he pulls the Philistine temple down on himself, killing “many more as he died than while he lived.” (Judges 16:30). But if someone says “fuck” on TV, the world will explode and we’ll all be cast into hell. Or something.

  When I was a kid, I had a set of View-Master discs featuring illustrated bible stories. The only thing more awesome for a pre-adolescent boy than a picture of hundreds of beating victims and their jawbone-wielding assailant is a picture of hundreds of beating victims and their jawbone-wielding assailant in 3-D!

  In other news, Wikipedia has an entry for hair. Seriously? Does anybody sophisticated enough to look things up in an online encyclopedia not know what hair is?

[x-posted from Ask The Little Bald Bastard]

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Rethinking My Sartorial Choices

June 18th, 2007 by Oskar Kennedy

I stopped wearing t-shirts that were wittier than myself a few years back, but this new design has me pondering a reprieve on the ban.

Webcomics OG Jeffrey Rowland (When I Grow Up, Wigu, and the semi-true journal comic Overcompensating) has a designer’s eye and a zeitgeist radar that’s visible from space. His t-shirt designs are consistently among the smartest and most visually appealing product to crawl out of the shameless merchandising whore-factory that is the sole means of revenue generation for most webcomic artists. If you’re a t-shirt guy or gal, and my endorsement means anything at all, you’ll buy a shirt (or twelve) at Topatoco.com. My birthday is in October.

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