Seven Year Bitch
Despite millennia of being consistently mistaken, charlatans and true believers alike continue to predict that the end of the world is just around the corner. The latest entry in the Book Of Inevitable Failure comes from pastor Mark Biltz, of El Shaddai Ministries in Bonney Lake, Wash. Pastor Biltz has determined that a series of lunar eclipses that will appear in 2015 are a likely herald of the long awaited second coming. Why? Because they happen to fall on the same days as his religious festivals.(video)
This prediction has all the classic elements. Regular, predictable astronomical phenomena, reference to vague bible verses, coincidental timing with arbitrarily dated church holidays, current political unrest and enough wishful thinking to kill a yak at 20 paces.
My favorite part of this whole scenario is that Hal Lindsey, crackpot and lifetime member of the failed prophets club, dismisses Biltz’s theory as “pure speculation.” Talk about the 100% non-reflective surface calling the kettle black.
Someone remind me to send Mr. Biltz a postcard in 2016. I’m sure I’ll be way too busy not burning in hell to remember by myself.
May 6th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Well, that’s good planning. Plenty of time for the paperback to be released.
You might want to check out, if you haven’t already,
THE DOOMSDAY LIST!
Which also links to:
A Brief History of the Apocalypse.
It seems to me that there is an actual desire on the part of many people to be living at the End Of Everything That Is. I attribute this great interest in the Apocalypse to the same reason people sit through a crappy movie: the desire to See How It All Turns Out.
Sorry, folks, you’ll never know.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
“Plenty of time for the paperback to be released.” Insightful as always.
Thanks for the links. Some interesting reading, although a little disappointing that they don’t seem to be updating anymore.
Your “See How It All Turns Out” theory puts me in mind of “The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe.” Now I have to go be sad for a moment because Douglas Adams is dead. *sigh*
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Hey, if I’m not here on June 11th or so enjoy the metor shower in 2015. Otherwise I guess we all get to enjoy the ride.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:07 am
Your comments about Pastor Mark Biltz are another good example of people speaking from limited information about someone they don’t know. While I don’t know what resource supplied you with your information, it is apparent it didn’t come from Mark or anyone associated with him. It is too bad that when folks receive “news” that peaks their curiosity they don’t just ask the source. So much damage could be avoided for all involved. Especially the public.
Curiosity is a good thing, but not if it doesn’t drive a person to seek the facts from the source. Speculation without the facts is a dangerous thing. Much has been speculated and posted on the internet about Mark Biltz that is so far off base from what he is really saying and who he really is. It is a shame that truth is not a core value on the internet and that spin is considered better than fact. The internet does still prove one thing… when human minds don’t have all the answers they tend to create their own answers and then, unfortunately, speak or write for anyone who will listen/.read regardless of the outcome. Be cautious what you believe from the internet spin doctors.
The truly sad part of this is that Mark would be more than willing to answer any question you may have or clarify anything you ask him about. And the really great thing is that he doesn’t care who you are or why you are asking.
You owe it to yourself to get to know Mark Biltz. You might be surprised that what you thought you knew about him isn’t true and what is true about him you haven’t even considered!
June 27th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
A agree with ‘A Friend.’ Have you watched the entire video of the sermon he gave? I really doesn’t sound like it. I would give him a call at Bonney Lake. Their number is 253-862-8010.
It is good sound stuff. Not wishey washy junk like 80% of the American Christian church is these days. According to the guy who answers phones at their office, he said, when I was ordering their DVD’s, that they are the biggest buyer/supporter of First Fruits of Zion this side of the Mississippi. You can tell that by their sound teaching at El Shaddai Ministries. FFOZ is very very good stuff. Reading a Max Lucado book after doing FFOZ’s Torah Club is like watching Sesame Street.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Pure speculation, or just Hal “Got Gace” Lindsay offering words totally void of any knowledge of specifics? Whenwill Jesus return?offering a specific point in time speaks from “pure speculation”, Mark B. has NO SUCH intent and thus should not be lumped into the end is near group. He will, based on GOD’S Feast Day and past fulfillment by Yahshua tell you what day (holiday/holyday) he will return on, sorry won’t be giving you the year… we got to watch, be ready and for heavens sake…REPENT. Is the end near ? It’s closer than it was yesterday ! You may have has FEW as 1007 years if the tribulation starts tomorrow… and that shortening days for the Elects sake is just allagory, if not LESS but afterwards stepping back into eternity is a long time… hope to see you there when the smoke clears !
July 7th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
A Friend:The resources I relied on when writing this post are all linked to in the post. I did not, in fact, watch the video. I relied on the WorldNetDaily story as my main source. They give fundamentalist Christianity a good bit of coverage, and they summarized his claims this way:
Is that not a fair assessment?
July 14th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I agree with “a friend”. Too often, we get critical of someone we don’t even know or make an attempt to know. Before we begin to speak out of our behinds we should at the very least go to the source and ask questions.
It is sad to me that this topic is taken so lightly. Take a look at the signs of the times. We have become a nation that honors and glorifies evil doers. Nuff said.
July 14th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Joseph Gent: Wannabe prophets have been pointing to “the signs of the times” since about a week after the ink was dry on the first draft of Revelation. They’ve predicted the end of the world hundreds of times, and every time it’s utterly failed to end. What specific signs have persuaded you that it’s really right around the corner this time?
July 15th, 2008 at 12:37 am
Dude, you’re headed for hell if you don’t change quick
July 15th, 2008 at 8:29 am
How quick? If things aren’t going to really ramp up until 2015, I’ve got almost seven years before I have to knock off the dirty thoughts and self-abuse.
Also, 2 1/2 months before someone brought up hell? I’m clearly losing my edge.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Have ta agree with Friend.
You said ,”How quick? If things aren’t going to really ramp up until 2015, I’ve got almost seven years before I have to knock off the dirty thoughts and self-abuse.
Also, 2 1/2 months before someone brought up hell? I’m clearly losing my edge.”
Try September 29-30, 2008. Lot better then being fried or chopped on
by 2015.
Sincerely,
BrotherMark
July 30th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
I’m not quite clear what you’re saying, BrotherMark. What happens at the end of September?