Archive for August 16th, 2008


News Flash: the Georgia Bigfoot is 96% Possum

August 16th, 2008 by Scooter Grant

The guys whose accents and folksy backwoods outfits were too good to be true submitted two samples of their fake Bigfoot to real scientists for DNA testing. The result on the first sample: human hair. The result on the second sample: 96% opossum.

[Online-radio host and Sasquatch enthusiast Tom] Biscardi said the DNA samples may not have been taken correctly and may have been contaminated, and that he would proceed with an autopsy of the alleged Bigfoot remains, currently in a freezer at an undisclosed location.

(Emphasis mine.) This is hilarious, and I see two possibilities here. First, perhaps these wannabe hoaxers gave the scientists a handful of possum fur, figuring that no actual scientist would be able to tell. (As in, “Them city folk cain’t tell the diffrunce b’tween a possum and a bluetick houn’ dog, shee-it!”)

Ski-squatch

Actual photo of Sasquatch in its native habitat of Vancouver, B.C., Canada

Or maybe not. Maybe the more plausible explanation is that they put their Bigfoot in a chest freezer that’s been stocked with possum for the winter, and that’s how the sample got “contaminated.”

In any event, whatever they found can’t possibly be Bigfoot. Everybody knows that Bigfoot — like the tree octopus — lives in the Pacific Northwest, not in Georgia!

In other news, apparently that “cat found” poster that’s been all over the internets, the one where it says that the cat is really unfriendly because it “might be scared,” but it’s really an opossum in the picture, you know which one I mean — there’s more than one version kicking around. Another possum-related hoax. And worldwide! I’ve seen them from Sydney, Australia, to Los Angeles, USA. Won’t somebody think of the possums?

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I Wish I Said It

August 16th, 2008 by Oskar Kennedy

Johann Hari, writing in The Independent on Thursday, in a commentary on why the suppression of Sherry Jones’ novel The Jewel of Medina is unfair to Muslims, and dangerous for everyone:

It is condescending to treat Muslims like excitable children who cannot cope with the probing, mocking treatment we hand out to Christianity, Judaism and Buddhism. It is perfectly consistent to protect Muslims from bigotry while challenging the bigotries and absurdities within their holy texts.

His basic thesis is that silencing critiques of Islam, whether for fear of violence or from a misplaced sense of political correctness, will prevent the kind of liberalization and moderation that mainstream Christianity has experienced. Rational criticism and thoughtful examination are the surest antidotes to fanaticism.

If everyone was this smart, we’d be a Type 1 civilization by now.

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