The active ingredient is bullshit.
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March 4th, 2009

The active ingredient is bullshit.

I suppose I should come clean and admit that I’ve never actually seen any research which refutes the claims made by the makers of “energy shots.” Nothing in the ingredients list appears to be able to do the things they claim the drink can do, but I’m operating purely from my own common sense, rather than any evidence. I am a bad skeptic. But it makes a half-decent joke.

Can anyone help me out here? Have you read anything supporting or refuting the claimed effects of these drinks? Can I safely call shenanigans, or is it possible that the drinks do what they say they can do?

Also, it’s exceedingly rare that the picture I have in my head translates almost directly to the finished comic, but this time I nailed it pretty solidly. I’m going to take a moment to bask. Then I’m going to remember that it took me all friggin’ night to make that stupid little picture of a bottle, and I’ll be back to my usual self.

spread the panic!
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↓ Transcript
POP PHARMACOLOGY COMICS

Pseudoscience Flavored
4.5-hour PLACEBO
- hours of confirmation bias
- no active ingredients
- efficacy free
- $1.50 / OZ. Take a friggin' nap

* Mega-doses of B Vitamins
* A Metric Assload of Amino Acids
* A Smidge of Caffeine
* Clinically proven to empty your wallet

These statement have not been evaluated by the FDA, because we don't enjoy getting laughed at.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 at 6:00 am and is filed under Comics, Random Gagging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


Discussion (16)¬

  1. Elmo Lincoln says:
    March 4, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Shitloads of caffeine, tons of carbohydrates, and you wonder what makes them give “energy?”

    It’s just more convenient than drinking a quart of coffee, which is also “all natural,” and the packaging makes it look like you’re doing something healthy instead of overclocking your heart and nervous system to just below the point of failure.

    Reply
    • Oskar Kennedy says:
      March 4, 2009 at 10:58 am

      Thing is, the “shot” type drinks don’t have a lot of either caffeine or sugar. The ingredients list claims four total calories, and the same amount of caffeine as 12 ounces of coffee. This is how they distinguish themselves from the carbonated urine soda type energy drinks. I figure that their effects claims are crap, because those regulations are loose and difficult to enforce. But product labeling laws are a lot more strict, and I can’t see these companies being brazen enough to lie about the ingredients.

      Reply
  2. Foo-Foo McKinley says:
    March 4, 2009 at 10:10 am

    I like the picture :)
    I also have never seen any evidence either direction. I can tell you that I tried one the other week, just to see. What happened was basically nothing (except slight jitteryness), until it wore off and I found myself in the bitchiest mood I’d been in for a long time. I think, like you imply with the title, that it’s a mind over matter effect. “Oh, I’m drinking this energy drink… *gulp*… Wow, I feel like I can take on the world!” when in reality, like Elmo Lincoln said, it’s full of caffeine and carbs, which would simply have a similar effect as drinking a pot of coffee, and unlike the commercials state, the crash is just as bad or worse.

    Reply
  3. Peter says:
    March 4, 2009 at 11:43 am

    The original 5 hour energy had a nearly identical ingredients list (x4.5) to the original sugar free Redbull.

    The fact is, the biggest lie they perpetrate is the ‘no crash’ lie. Everything is just concentrated. I performed a not so scientific test to prove this fact back when I was drinking more RB than was good for any human. Hopefully I can find the jpgs to back it up somewhere.

    Reply
  4. OneHandClapping says:
    March 13, 2009 at 11:07 am

    But do you have any idea how much “active ingredient” they had available from 2000-2008? They had to use it for something!

    Reply
  5. Crystal D. says:
    March 15, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    But, but, they promised me it would work better than coffee! :( lol.

    Reply
  6. catgirl says:
    March 16, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Last Friday I went into a convenience store and saw caffeine-free 5-hour energy. I wonder how that is supposed to work? (I mean, besides the placebo effect.)

    Reply
    • Oskar Kennedy says:
      March 16, 2009 at 12:15 pm

      They’re literally claiming that B-vitamins and amino acids can cause an energy boost. Each shot has 2000% of the recommended daily dose of B6, and 8300% of the daily recommendation of B12. It’s like Scrooge McDuck’s money vault, only with B vitamins.

      Reply
  7. Al Jensen says:
    March 18, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Don’t they give B12 shots to athletes and other such people? Or does it only count if they stick it in intravenously?

    Reply
    • Oskar Kennedy says:
      March 18, 2009 at 2:22 pm

      They do, but there really isn’t any evidence, beyond enthusiastic anecdotes, to suggest that it actually boosts their performance. A healthy person won’t absorb much more of the vitamin than the body needs, and you’ll get that amount in any reasonably healthy diet. The extra is just that, extra. For folks without a specific B12 deficiency, or some kind of absorption disorder, the shot is a just as much a waste of money as these drinks.

      Reply
  8. Barry Williams says:
    April 7, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    My nutrition tutor said that vit B doesn’t do squat I can’t remember her exact words

    Reply
  9. Chakolate says:
    April 9, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    If you happen to be deficient in b-vitamins, you might get a lift from this. I suspect it’s more placebo effect than anything. If you expect to feel more energetic, why then…

    Reply

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