If you like it then you shoulda put some pears on it.

March 17th, 2009 by Jenn DiSanto

I’m going to Jamaica with friends in June, and while sifting through all the materials we got from the resort, there’s a page for their “Match Made in Paradise” option, which I guess is for the Romantic Fella who’s proposing to his lady on the trip. (Or, you know, to his fella, or whatever pleases you.)

Ladies, did you know that “every woman dreams of the moment their loved one will get down on bended knee and say those four magic words?” Says so right here. So, the obvious question: what four “magic” words do YOU dream of hearing?

A few options come to mind…

“Here’s a new car.”

“I hired a housekeeper.”

“You got the job!”

“We won $50 grand.”

“Here are some pancakes.”

I can’t imagine why I’m still single, can you? ;)

Anyway, one of the features of this package (heh) is: “proposal carved in fruit.” I shit you not, guys. Apparently, you can propose with cantaloupe.

That’s hot. For serious, all women want that. Am I right, ladies? “Will you marry me?” spelled out in grapes? How could I resist?

I have to say, I want to get married, and I even have a person in mind, but I have not once dreamed of that. Suck it, perpetuator!

P.S. OMG, for those who get married at the resort? They have a wedding coordinator, non-denominational ceremony, yada yada, but also… FREE CAKE and, no joke, commemorative shirts for the bride and groom. Oh, hell. We all know I’ll do damn near anything for a free t-shirt and some cake. Bring on the kiwi!

spread the panic!
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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 17th, 2009 at 9:20 am and is filed under Panic!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.


Discussion (12)¬

  1. Oskar Kennedy says:
    March 17, 2009 at 10:18 am

    That all certainly does sound like you. It’s good that you’re so self-aware. =)

    Also, I see you decided to ditch your pseudonym. You’re a brave warrior, associating actual identifying information with our content. =)

  2. catgirl says:
    March 17, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Well, I love cake, and my favorite flavor of cake is free. Maybe I’ll have to reconsider this romantic stuff that always seemed like nonsense to me. When there’s free cake involved, I might be able to tolerate something as corny as a fruit proposal.

    • Jenn says:
      March 17, 2009 at 10:51 am

      Right? I think that’s at the top of the list of reasons I want to have a wedding in the first place — a big honkin’ cake!

  3. Janice Nixon says:
    March 17, 2009 at 11:15 am

    if it’s free cake you want, you know, bakeries that specialize in wedding cakes throw tasting nights for couples in the hopes that those couples will choose them for their wedding. Grab a guy and eat cake galore all night long…

  4. Foo-Foo McKinley says:
    March 17, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    Some more 4-word sentences come to mind (at least that I would find pleasing)…

    “Your test is negative.” [I just realized that made me sound like I'm waiting for test results. I'm not.]
    “I’ll do the laundry.”
    “Would you like fries?”
    “Discovery Institute closes down.”
    “You’re having a baby!”
    “Here’s some free money.”

    I’m sure I could think of more, but I think all of yours pretty much sum up what every woman would like to hear in a 4-word sentence. Especially the pancakes. Also, I’m jealous of your vacation plans.

    • Jenn says:
      March 17, 2009 at 2:37 pm

      Ooh, which brings to mind another four-word blessing — “Your vacation is free.” (It is not, but I’m totally willing to incur more debt to go to Jamaica.)

      OH! “Your debts are paid” would also be good!

    • Waldorf Van Buren says:
      March 17, 2009 at 9:47 pm

      “This House is Clean”
      “The Bank was Wrong” (although that could clearly have a negative implication)
      “Good Morning, Mr. President” (Or Mrs./Ms.)

      Pssh. That’s all I’ve got.