I posted on Facebook, musing about an old project that I occasionally miss. The following exchange occurred in the comments:
Dear Little Bald Bastard,
As I get older, I notice that I keep getting more bald, while you get less bald. Help.
-Hairless in Hackensack
Dear HIH,
It turns out that hair loss is negatively correlated with student loan debt. I have to keep a gas-powered string trimmer in my bathroom just to stay ahead of it. If I skip it over the weekend, by Monday morning, I look like the early-90s version of Nelson. (All of them.)