My Tea Ritual

After doing some reading about the variety of ceremonies different cultures have that celebrate the brewing and consumption of tea, I realized that I have a pretty consistent little ritual of my own. It’s rather intricate and involved, so feel free to shorten/excerpt/adapt it to your use.

  • Without averting eyes from computer screen, lift mug to lips. Vaguely think “dry.” Set mug back down on desk. Wait approximately five minutes.
  • Without averting eyes from computer screen, lift mug to lips again. Vaguely think “thirsty.” Set mug back down on desk. Wait approximately 10 minutes.
  • Without averting eyes from computer screen, lift mug to lips a third time. Tip head back far enough that tea bag slides out of mug into teeth.
  • Spit tea bag back into mug. Look into mug for approximately 30 seconds, hoping with all your heart that some tea will appear in it.
  • Stand up from desk. Carry mug into kitchen.
  • Fill electric teakettle at sink. Accidentally overfill. Pour out excess water.
  • Start electric teakettle heating.
  • Remove spent teabag from mug and carry to trashcan.
  • Immediately prior to putting teabag in trashcan, remember that we’re composting those now. Change course and place teabag in compost bin.
  • Place new teabag in mug. Stand aimlessly for a moment, listening to the kettle heating up, before going back to desk.
  • Approximately 15 minutes later, realize that water should have boiled by now. Go back out to kitchen to find teakettle has reached automatic shutoff, and is quietly ticking to itself as it cools.
  • Restart teakettle. Force self to wait while water reboils.
  • When kettle stops again, pour boiling water over mug. Go back to desk while tea steeps.
  • 20 minutes later, without averting eyes from computer screen, attempt to lift mug to lips. Wave hand ineffectually at least thrice through the spot the mug usually occupies. Look over at flapping hand, realize that mug is still sitting on kitchen counter.
  • Shuffle back to kitchen. Retrieve mug from counter. Sip carefully enough to keep from spilling, but not carefully enough to avoid scalding tongue.
  • Grab two ice cubes from freezer, place in mug.
  • Carry mug back to desk. Sit down, placing mug in traditional spot.
  • Without averting eyes from computer screen, lift mug to lips.
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