Some religious fundies walked out of a presentation
during which Bill Nye criticized literal interpretations of the biblical creation story.
It’s good to know that their kids won’t learn reason or manners.
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Bill Nye the Science Guy!
April 6th, 2006 by Oskar Kennedy
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Shave And A Haircut, Too Bad
June 18th, 2007 by Oskar Kennedy
Dear Little Bald Bastard,
Why oh why? Delilah?
- Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Samson has been asking himself the same question since Long Ago, BCE. Delilah was Samson’s wife; she coaxed him into revealing that his long hair was the secret of his Herculean strength, and then gave him a quick trim and betrayed him to his enemies. Fortunately for Samson, Old Testament God (before he got all New-Agey and lame) was cool with guys who bludgeoned hundreds of non-believers to death, so he got his revenge in the end.
I always think of this story when Trolling Fundies decry the morals of modern entertainment. Here’s a tale prominently featuring thousands of beating deaths. At the end, the hero commits what can only be called a low-tech suicide bombing; he pulls the Philistine temple down on himself, killing “many more as he died than while he lived.” (Judges 16:30). But if someone says “fuck” on TV, the world will explode and we’ll all be cast into hell. Or something.
When I was a kid, I had a set of View-Master discs featuring illustrated bible stories. The only thing more awesome for a pre-adolescent boy than a picture of hundreds of beating victims and their jawbone-wielding assailant is a picture of hundreds of beating victims and their jawbone-wielding assailant in 3-D!
In other news, Wikipedia has an entry for hair. Seriously? Does anybody sophisticated enough to look things up in an online encyclopedia not know what hair is?
[x-posted from Ask The Little Bald Bastard]
Hanna Barbaric
June 22nd, 2007 by Oskar Kennedy
Dear Little Bald Bastard,
Why are Tom and Jerry so mean to each other?
- Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
The struggle between a physically powerful oppressor and a diminutive but intellectually gifted challenger is as old as the biblical story of David & Goliath. And considering the liberal ways that the bible borrows from previous mythology, chances are it’s considerably older. William Hanna and Joseph Barbera simply transposed the ageless struggle into the anthropomorphized animal oeuvre and added modern household instruments of torture to the combatants’ arsenals.
Alternate Answer: Because cats like to eat mice, whereas mice generally prefer to remain uneaten. Duh.
[x-posted from Ask The Little Bald Bastard]
Happy Birthday, Earth!
October 23rd, 2007 by Oskar Kennedy
And let me say, for a sprightly lass of 6,010, you’re still looking great. Don’t worry about that slight equatorial bulge. It happens to all of us after our mid-5,000s.
A Modern Translation
April 2nd, 2008 by Oskar Kennedy
Atheist and self-described “tumbleblogger” Ryoga M celebrates his 1,000th post with the start of a new feature looking at “the greatest plot holes in Bible stories.”
God: Oh man! It tastes like chocolate strawberry and brandy. But don’t eat it, or you’ll live forever! I mean, die! Die. Forget I said live forever.
It’s funny. Go read it. And tell him that, while he’s poking about in Genesis, he should take on the creation myth.
