Posts Tagged ‘Cher’


Cher is stalking me.

  I swear, that song If I Could Turn Back Time is following me around. I keep hearing bits of it; it’s playing in stores, on TV and on co-workers’ computers. If Cher is using her magical chronological powers to drive me mad with that song, she’s either really lame or fiendishly clever.

  Let’s turn this into a fun game. Fill in the blank: If I could turn back time, I’d ________

  If I could turn back time, I’d go back to high school and get a fucking haircut once in awhile. My head looked like an explosion at a mullet party for a long, long time.