Suburban Panic!

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Economics 101

September 11th, 2008 by Oskar Kennedy

What’s the real lesson from the sub-prime mortgage mess? If you’re going to fuck up in America, fuck up BIG. If you fuck up, take out a loan you can’t afford, fall behind on your mortgage and lose your house, nobody gives a mouse’s balls. If you fuck up, underwrite millions of bad loans and get so deep in the hole that you’re hearing kangaroos mate, you’ll be such a threat to the entire economy that the federal government will climb up on your desk, drop its red-and-white-striped pants and shit out a trillion dollars just to fix your mistake.

There’s been a lot of talk about history, and how increased knowledge of said correlates with an ability to avoid repeating it. I’d suggest that the executives at Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae took a long look at the Savings and Loan crisis, analyzed the government response, and said something that amounted to “full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes. If the economy tries to punch us in the sack, the government will deflect the blow with its soft, sensual (and conveniently located) mouth.”

spread the panic!