Posts Tagged ‘death’

Feed The Need The Feed

Wednesday, February 28th, 2007

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  How will I know if you’ve answered my question?
- Darryl L. Pierce
Dear Darrrrryl,
  What a fortuitous and not at all planted question! If you want to see all of the questions and answers as they’re posted, you can add the Ask LBB feed to your favorite feed reader program. Then, you’ll get to see every update I make, until the day when my bitterness finally dissolves my fragile organs, and I die choking on my own bile. Enjoy!

I Think I’m Already Dead

Thursday, March 1st, 2007

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Who would win in an advice column fight to the death: Ask LBB or Ask A Ninja?
- fadingembers
Dear fadingembers,
  Ask A Ninja’s expertise seems to be focused on ninjary in all its deadly splendor. I have the advantage in that I don’t have any expertise. I’m free to shoot my uninformed mouth off about any topic I feel like, from animal husbandry to zoophilia, and everything in between.

  Of course in an actual fight to the death, the Ninja would slaughter me before I’d even finished the thought of challenging him. I bet my entrails would be prettier than his, though.

Please Return You Mind To The Upright And Locked Position

Monday, March 19th, 2007

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  What’s the deal with putting your seat back in the upright position when your plane is landing? Will the three-inch chasm between upright and reclined make any difference?
  Seriously, this keeps me up at night, and Friend Brian says I should ask. Solve the mystery, man.
  Thanks,
- Jenn

Dear Jenn (and Friend Brian),
  I bet you asked this question assuming I’d take your side and toss off a sarcastic dismissal of the seemingly arbitrary seat position requirements dictated by the flying debt hoses we call airlines. LBB thumbs his nose at your expectations; to quote Vanilla Ice in Cold As Ice, “You don’t know me. You don’t wanna know me. I’m dangerous.”

  It turns out the important factor in a plane crash is the distance to the seat in front of you. If you can brace yourself against it, your chances of a fatal head or spinal injury are dramatically decreased. If everyone puts their seat up, you’ll be a few inches closer to the seat in front of you, and it will be easier to brace against the flat, vertical surface.

  Having your seat up will also make a big difference when the fat guy behind you, who’s been snoring like a brick in a wood chipper since Cleveland, awakes on touchdown and decides to maneuver his bulk into the aisle. That extra three inches might just be the difference between an uncomfortable, huffing exit or a belly bump to the back of your head.

  Now go away, or I shall quote appalling cinema at you a second time.

A Stick Figure Eulogy

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

The Order of the Stick has a touching tribute to the recently deceased E. Gary Gygax, the founding father of the modern roleplaying game. If I were designing an afterlife, there would definitely be a place for a man whose work brought such joy to so many.

How Many Times Does It Have To Fail?

Friday, June 20th, 2008

CNN.com/crime is reporting that a 16 year old Oregon boy, whose parents raised him in a faith-healing only church called the Followers of Christ, has died of a urinary tract blockage. The blockage caused a buildup of urea in his bloodstream, which poisoned his organs and caused heart failure.

He probably had a congenital condition that constricted his urinary tract where the bladder empties into the urethra, and the condition of his organs indicates that he had multiple blockages during his life, said Dr. Clifford Nelson, deputy state medical examiner for Clackamas County.

“You just build up so much urea in your bloodstream that it begins to poison your organs, and the heart is particularly susceptible,” Nelson said.

Nelson said a catheter would have saved the boy’s life. If the condition had been dealt with earlier, a urologist could easily have removed the blockage and avoided the kidney damage that came with the repeated illnesses, Nelson said.

In March, the boy’s 15 month old cousin died of bronchial pneumonia and a blood infection, after her parents refused to do anything but pray for her recovery. The two children are the latest in a series of deaths among younger church members, which in 1999 prompted the state of Oregon to remove protections based on religion for parents who treat - or rather, FAIL to treat - their children with prayer rather than actual useful medicine.

Unlike the parents of the little girl, who were charged with manslaughter and criminal mistreatment, the parents of the latest victim have another out. Oregon law allows minors over the age of 14 to refuse medical treatment. If it turns out that the boy was offered treatment and refused it, his parents are off the hook.

Two things spring to mind. First, these people are serial child abusers. Points to Oregon for having the stomach to prosecute them. We can only hope that their planned religious freedom defense doesn’t stand up in court. A competent adult should have the right to refuse medical treatment for any reason, but withholding medical help from a sick toddler is crazy and criminal, and no amount of faith should shield willfully neglectful parents from prosecution.

Freedom of religion, like every freedom, has to have practical limits. Freedom of speech doesn’t protect the proverbial guy shouting “fire” during the premiere of the latest summer blockbuster. Freedom to practice one’s religion without government interference shouldn’t protect parents who routinely let helpless children die from easily treatable diseases. We as a society need to come to some kind of consensus that exempting churches from property taxes is acceptable, but subjecting children to potentially fatal neglect isn’t.

Second, and more personal, are some variations on the question I asked above. How many times does the power of prayer have to fail before these parents will wake up and stop letting their children die? I don’t expect them to stop believing in their god, but is a healthy dose of “those who help themselves” to much to ask? How deeply indoctrinated do you have to be to believe that your all-powerful, benevolent deity has a plan that includes your son or daughter dying for want of a bottle of penicillin? Is there any way to shake these people awake before another child dies? If anybody has answers to any of these, I’d love to hear them.

Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States