Posts Tagged ‘frustrated’


This week, on Grad School 911…

January 6th, 2004 by Oskar Kennedy

DISPATCHER: Emergency Intellectual Services, what is the nature of your emergency?
OSKAR: I just said “badder!”
DISPATCHER: I’m sorry, sir, you said what?
OSKAR: ”Badder!” I said “badder!” Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick.
DISPATCHER: Are you currently doing any baking, sir?
OSKAR: No, not “batter.” I’m not making a fucking cake!
DISPATCHER: Just calm down, sir. Tell me what happened.
OSKAR: My girlfriend. I was talking to my girlfriend about how she was going to work later than she normally does.
DISPATCHER: Yes?
OSKAR: I was concerned about there being more traffic than normal. She usually goes to work early enough to miss rush hour, and I thought she might hit more traffic, leaving later like that.
DISPATCHER: You were trying to warn her?
OSKAR: Yes! Yes, and I said “I think the later traffic might be BADDER!” *sob*
DISPATCHER: Calm down sir. Did you realize your mistake at the time?
OSKAR: Jesus, yes. I tried to stop myself, and I even tried to stick a “worse” in there, but it was too late.
DISPATCHER: Did your girlfriend tease you, or make fun of you in any fashion?
OSKAR: Of course she did. And I deserved it.
DISPATCHER: You certainly did, sir. But it’s a good thing?
OSKAR: What?
DISPATCHER: Just tell her to keep mocking you. Your deep, abiding sense of shame should keep you from ever doing it again.
OSKAR: Really?
DISPATCHER: Yes sir. All you need is to be sufficiently humiliated. I’d suggest telling other people, so that they can make fun of you too.
OSKAR: You mean… you mean, I’m going to be okay?
DISPATCHER: I believe so, sir.
OSKAR: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much!
DISPATCHER: Just doing my job sir.
OSKAR: Still. Thank you.
DISPATCHER: Have a good day sir.
OSKAR: I will. You too. Thanks again.
DISPATCHER: No problem, sir.
*click*

DISPATCHER: ”Badder.” What an asshole.
*click*

spread the panic!
[Ask] [Bloglines] [del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Fark] [Google] [Mixx] [MySpace] [Newsvine] [Reddit] [Slashdot] [Sphere] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Windows Live] [Yahoo!] [Email] More »
└ Tags: , , , ,

Subconscious Self-Contempt

October 2nd, 2008 by Oskar Kennedy

I think that the pressures of impending fatherhood and looking for a job in the current bleakonomy have finally found their way into my subconscious. I had a dream about my own incompetence that was so frustrating that I actually woke up because I was so angry with myself.

I was on the phone, trying to write down the address of the person I was talking to. She kept repeating it for me, and I just kept getting different bits wrong.

Have you ever had a dream that was so pleasant that, if it was interrupted by the phone or a dog barking or the cat throwing up on your bedroom floor, you were able to lay back down and slip back into the dream at the point where you left? Only it wasn’t really pleasant, but crazy-angry-making, and you desperately wanted to go back to sleep and stop dreaming about it, but you couldn’t?

That’s what this dream was like. I kep waking up because I was so furious with myself. I woke up (or dreamed that I woke up) three times. But every time I went back to sleep, I found myself back on the phone, unable to correctly write down the information I needed. I should have just stayed awake. I’ll take exhaustion over helpless self-loathing any morning.

Okay, I’ll stop now. Things could be a lot worse, and I’m sure you have better things to do. Thanks for reading.

</pity party>

spread the panic!
[Ask] [Bloglines] [del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Fark] [Google] [Mixx] [MySpace] [Newsvine] [Reddit] [Slashdot] [Sphere] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Windows Live] [Yahoo!] [Email] More »
└ Tags: , , , , ,