Posts Tagged ‘law school’

No Scooby Doo Ending?

Monday, June 25th, 2007

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  I heard you were in law school. How can you be that AND be such a slacker?
- Genevieve

Dear Genevieve,

Typical Answer: Thanks to secret alien time-travel technology, I was able to compete all three years of studying during one epic night on the toilet in 1963. Every Saturday night, I fire up the machine and pop back to pick up my completed assignments for the following week. This leaves my weeknights free for choking my liver with cheap vodka and posting angry screeds in random Livejournal communities.

“Aw, Snap!” Answer: The same way you find time to be such a bitch.

“Your Mom” Answer: My schedule is pretty open now that I’ve finally stopped banging your mom every night.

Passive Aggressive Answer: I have a lot more free time since I stopped hanging out in dank alleys, blowing strange men for crack. You should try it.

  That clicking sound you just heard was Genevieve deleting me from her bookmarks. Pretty soon, my readership number will actually be negative.

Law Geekiness: The Rational Basis Standard of Review

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

  When applying the Rational Basis standard of review, the Court seems to be giving the government ever-wider freedom to act as it sees fit, without any meaningful check from the judiciary. In 1949, Justice Jackson’s concurrence in Railway Express v. New York lauds the “salutary doctrine that cities, states and the Federal Government must exercise their powers so as not to discriminate between their inhabitants except upon some reasonable differentiation fairly related to the object of regulation.”

  In 1973, the Court said that a suspect classification would be “examined to determine whether it rationally furthers some legitimate, articulated state purpose.” San Antonio Independent School Dist. v. Rodriguez, 411 U.S. 1, 17 (1973).

  By 1980, United States Railroad Retirement Bd. v. Fritz saw Justice Rehnquist proclaiming that “where, as here, there are plausible reasons for Congress’ actions, our inquiry is at an end.” The Court no longer required that the actual reason for a law be rational. Rather, any sufficiently convincing post hoc justification that could be conceived of would suffice.

  In 1993, the Court in FCC v. Beach gave up all pretense of oversight, and instead placed the burden on litigants challenging a discriminatory law “to negate every conceivable basis which might support it.” One pictures competing attorneys filling up notebooks with possible justifications and counterarguments. If the government attorney manages to think of just one more than the challenger, it’s a check in the win column.

  The Court has done a neat job of ruling itself into a corner. When the Court found that the challenged Amendment in Romer v. Evans was discriminatory and motivated purely by hatred for homosexuals, the Court had to bludgeon the Rational Basis standard into a nearly unrecognizable state to enable it to strike the Amendment down. Critics who say that the Court was actually engaging in a stricter review are right. Unfortunately, the Court had very little choice. The Rational Basis standard has so little practical power to invalidate a law that the Court had to choose between dressing Intermediate Scrutiny in a hand-me-down Rational Basis t-shirt, or declaring sexual orientation a quasi-suspect classification and granting it the automatic protection of that stricter standard.

  Comparisons to the sexist reasoning in Muller v. Oregon immediately spring to mind. Again, the Court granted a much-needed protection, while (albeit a tad more subtly) endorsing intolerance toward the class it was protecting by upholding a particular discriminatory perception, namely that sexual orientation is a voluntary, rather than immutable, characteristic.

  All of that was the long way around to the following question; can the Rational Basis standard of review possibly get any more deferential? Is the chance to argue about the justification for the challenged legislation a certain thing, or will we see a day where the Court will simply deny certiorari if the government’s list of justifications is longer than the challenger’s list of arguments against them?

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Question #122: Lobby Hobby

Monday, March 17th, 2008

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  How do you spend your time when you aren’t being a tool on the Internets?
- Devil in the Details

Dear Devil in the Details,
  Although my voluminous post count belies it, I actually do have interests that don’t involve telling strangers how stupid I think they are on the Internet. I like to read, I play a video game or two, and I have a lucrative business waxing badgers for private collectors.*

  The biggest chunk of my non-bastardly day is taken up by my studies. I’m in my second year of law school, which means I spend approximately eleventy million hours a week poring over casebooks.

  As part of my laws school experience, I lucked into an internship with Pennsylvanians For Modern Courts. PMC is a policy group working to reform the judiciary in Pennsylvania, and to educate citizens about how to access and navigate the courts.

  Coincidentally, we just launched a new blog, called JudgesOnMerit.org, which is all about our campaign to replace partisan election of appellate judges with a Merit Selection plan. I’ll spare you my pro-Merit screed. I’ll just say that I hadn’t ever thought about judicial elections before November of 2007. Now I love Merit Selection like a pirate loves booty.

  If you like politics, if you’re concerned about judicial fairness, or if you just want to help a bastard out, go take a look at JudgesOnMerit.org. See if you can recognize my writing when I’m not allowed to use profanity.

*You don’t want to know how hard it is to get insurance.

I Draw Pictures

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

  I recently had to do an in-class presentation on a federal public service tuition forgiveness program. In order to spice up a Sahara-dry topic, I tossed some illustrations in to break up the monotony of my Powerpoint slides. I’m gonna toot my own horn a bit, and say they turned out pretty well.

  The set of 10 is available as a slideshow on Flickr. If you want to humor me, take a look and let me know what you think.

Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States