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A chiropractor in Athens, Ohio claims he can heal pain through time travel
. While the details in the story (and on his website) are sketchy, the idea seems to be that he can “reach back” to the time when the injury occurred, and prevent it from happening.
I’m going to buy this guy a pair of clippers and ask him to correct my high-school haircut.
Are you being awakened in the middle of the night by loud noises? You may be suffering from Exploding Head Syndrome!
I bet you didn’t know that physicians used to prescribe orgasms for women as a treatment for hysteria since the days of Hippocrates. 20th century morality did away with the administration of “hysterical paroxysm” in the ’20s.
Item 1 – Tuberculosis infection rates are falling worldwide. Except, of course, for those pesky COMPLETELY UNTREATABLE STRAINS.
Item 2 – The medieval menace known as the plague is making a comeback. Added bonus, it may be on the verge of developing RESISTANCE TO ANTIBIOTICS.
I’ll be in the basement, hoarding food, water and ammunition.
Here’s why it pays to be skeptical, guys. It turns out that the makers of the “male enhancement” pill Enzyte weren’t inflating anything but their claims. The government is prosecuting company officials for conspiring to defraud its customers out of 100 million desperate, small-wanged dollars. From Cincinnati.com:
James Teegarden Jr., the former vice president of operations at Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, explained Tuesday in U.S. District Court how he and others at the company made up much of the content that appeared in Enzyte ads.He said employees of the Forest Park company created fictitious doctors to endorse the pills, fabricated a customer satisfaction survey and made up numbers to back up claims about Enzyte’s effectiveness.
There are a few things about this situation that really stick out.
1) PAY ATTENTION. Slick marketing and customer satisfaction surveys are fine, but if a company can’t or won’t explain to you how its product works, DON’T GIVE THEM MONEY.
2) This is especially true when the company makes “health” claims that are so sensitive. The harder you want something to be true, the easier it is to let yourself believe dubious claims. If a pill claims to fix a heretofore unfixable problem, it’s time to be even more diligent.
3) The only thing classier than conspiring to sell millions of dollars of dubious dick drugs is cutting your mom in on the action. From the article:
Several other company employees, including [the founder's] mother, Harriet, also are charged with participating in the conspiracy.
I also find it insane that, as of February 1st, 2008, the company’s website it still up and running, making the same claims and apparently still taking orders. Why hasn’t the District Court issued an temporary injunction to stop the company from making these (allegedly) fraudulent claims?
Nobody needs an herbal penis pump so badly that they can’t wait a few months. If the Court rules in favor of the company, then let them go back to peddling their pills. In the meantime, why risk letting the company defraud more innocent men? They’re already upset about the size of their junk. The court shouldn’t allow their wallets to be deflated as well.
On the plus side, I finally have a reason to use the “dick” tag non-euphemistically.
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