Posts Tagged ‘pets’


In Case You’re Wondering, Too

September 1st, 2005 by Oskar Kennedy

  An old friend/former colleague sent me an email asking what I thought.

  I think about a lot of things. I’m reminded of the Chinese parable about the man whose son breaks his leg falling off the horse. I don’t remember it word for word, but the point is that life is unpredictable, and that things which seem like a blessing may be a curse, and vice versa.

  Everybody was so quick to point out how New Orleans was spared the worst of the storm, and some people were still talking about it while the levees were crumbling and water was flowing into the city. I can’t think of a clearer warning against rushing to judgment than that.

  I feel a sense of guilt, because I’m getting on with my life while millions of people try to absorb the fact that they’re now homeless. I fight a morbid fascination, and try not to start spewing my fears about chaos and social breakdown.

  I think about small things. I recently opened my home to a dog for the first time in my life. I’m very fond of him and our cats, and I feel a measure of grief for the thousands if not millions of pets whose owners left them at home, thinking they’d be gone for only a day or two.

  I think about big things. I think about the stupidity of building an entire city below sea level, between a lake and a river. Except that’s a mental cop-out. Nobody ever said “hey, let’s build a big city here!” Like most cities, it just sort of grew up around natural resources. By the time it was big enough for people to start worrying about a major catastrophe, it was already too large to move.

  I think about how we treat the Earth like it’s ours to do with as we wish. We cut down forests, we pump tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. Everybody is screaming about the high price of gasoline. Do they realize that oil drilling operations in the Gulf Of Mexico directly contribute to the destruction of coastal wetlands, which could have helped to absorb the tide and diminish the storm surge that eventually overwhelmed the man-made barriers?

  So many people believe that this entire complex ecosystem was designed just for us. They cling to this belief so fiercely that, when nature does something dangerous, they attribute the destruction to the wrath of the designer. I guess it’s easier, in a way, to believe that God is smiting the wicked than to take collective responsibility for our wanton and wasteful ways.

  Actually, I think the hardest thing for most people to accept is that life is by and large a craps shoot. Sure, you can nudge the odds in your favor. Don’t smoke, buy a car with airbags, don’t juggle chainsaws while drinking gin. Still, at the end of the day, there’s a lot of Universe out there, and not a lot of you. If something good happens to you, cherish it. If something bad happens, be upset and angry. You deserve it. Just stop trying to explain it as divine fury. Gays and prostitutes and anti-war protestors don’t cause hurricanes, and thinking pure thoughts won’t keep you from getting hit by a car. Life happens. Welcome to the world.

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Odd Things Pop Into My Head When I Walk The Dogs

May 15th, 2006 by Oskar Kennedy

No, not like those creepy brain-worm things from Wrath Of Khan. I’m guess it’s more accurate to say pop up in my head, like some damned existential toaster. For instance, this little gem, which welled up so fast and hard that I recited most of it out load before I realized I was talking to my dogs, and they were ignoring me. Anyway, here it is for posterity, with minimal editing.

  You know what I like? Things that have their own time. How cool is that? Like “go time.” It’s go time! Action is immediately happening! It’s time, and you’re gonna go. Granted, you don’t know where you’re going, or what you’ll be doing when you get there, but you’re a man of action! Silly details like that don’t bother you.
  Or Miller time. It’s Miller time! That sounds like a great time. I think there’s something sort of cool about a beer so crappy, it can alter the very fabric of the Universe. The only thing better than Miller time would be “good beer time,” but if that time ever appeared on my clock, I think my liver would leap right out of my body and crawl away under its own power. Like a rat from a sinking ship, my liver.
  And then, there’s the big daddy of them all, the time that makes all other times pale by comparison. That’s right, I’m talking about Hammer time. Man, do you remember when it used to be Hammer time about four dozen times a day? Now it’s only Hammer time when you’re drunk and looking through your old cassettes, or in the last half-hour of a wedding DJ’s set, or on one of those new radio stations with no announcers that only plays the most mortifying hit singles of your childhood.
  Here’s a question? What would happen if it was Miller time and Hammer time at the same time? I don’t know the answer, but I suspect it’s something horrifying. Maybe the producers of Fear Factor will try it one of these days, as long as they can find an approriate testicle for the contestants to eat while it happens.

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Gesundheit

June 5th, 2006 by Oskar Kennedy

Scientists in the UK have engineered the world’s first hypoallergenic cat.

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Anti-Abortion Activist Agitates Pro-Puppy Protestors*

September 16th, 2008 by Oskar Kennedy

Hundreds of dogs got to go for a ride in the car on Tuesday afternoon. They (and their owners) gathered outside the Pennsylvania state Capitol in Harrisburg for a rally in support of House Bill 2525. The legislation, sponsored by Representative James Casorio (D-Decent Human Being), would bring tighter regulation and improved minimum conditions to commercial kennels in the Pennsylvania, and hopefully start reforming the state’s lousy record of monitoring the dog breeding industry.

Supporters of the bill include the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the Humane Society of the U.S. and Annemarie Lucas of Animal Planet’s Animal Precinct. They’re trying to get some momentum behind the bill which, in true Pennsylvania legislative fashion, has been loaded down with more than a hundred amendments, promising hours of debate before a vote can even be contemplated.

Across the street from the demonstrators was a lone whackjob holding two large signs. He wasn’t a pro-breeding industry activist. He was an anti-choice crusader, waving large pictures of aborted fetuses and loudly bemoaning the fact that “all these people come out to support the puppies, but nobody will protect the unborn babies.”

He didn’t seem to care how incongruous he looked, or that nobody was paying him any attention, but he really didn’t like it when I laughed at his odd choice of venue. Unfortunately, I was walking at a fair pace through the crowd, and his response after “laughing man” was lost in the noise.

I’m sure the crazy, sign-wielding nutbag takes some consolation from the fact that he might not have to protest for much longer. If John McCain gets elected, he will end the federal right to safe, legal abortions. States like Pennsylvania, which has fought to the Supreme Court for the right to restrict abortion access, will have a field day banning the practice.

If you’re going to vote Republican this year, please be honest with yourself. There is no moderation on that ticket.

They will END the federal right of access to safe, legal abortion for EVERY woman.

There will be NO exceptions.

John McCain will NOT suddenly change his mind once he’s elected. Whatever slight rebellious streak McCain displayed in the past has been washed away by the cleansing fire of the Christian Right.  McCain has gotten religion and social conservatism branded on his prostate in order to get elected, and he’s not going to ignore that plank of his party’s platform once he’s elected.

McCain’s Supreme Court will make Roe v. Wade disappear like so much inaugural ball champagne.

So if you think that victims of rape and incest, or women whose health will be permanently damaged by pregnancy, should be forced to have babies, go ahead and vote McCain-Palin. And pray to whatever god you believe in (because, let’s face it, you wouldn’t be voting for them if you didn’t have a deity whispering in your ear) that your wife, mother, niece, sister or girlfriend is never forced to have her rapist’s baby.

* I am the king of alliterative titles.

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Up To The Minute Updates

February 11th, 2009 by Oskar Kennedy

Because I’m sure you were wondering. Emery Aurora, Lovely Wife and I are finally at home in our little house. The dog is slightly freaked out by the wriggly little snack-sized person we’ve brought into the house, but he’s coping pretty well. The cats are feigning disinterest, but I occasionally catch them sneaking sideways glances, assessing the baby for a) warmth and b) potential snuggling.

I’m very proud and happy to be home with my little family. Everything seems to be going well. I should be back to posting more regularly after finals are over for the quarter. Thanks for your good wishes, and your patience.

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