Posts Tagged ‘Television’


Are You There God? It’s Me, Marguerite

February 27th, 2006 by Oskar Kennedy

  Marguerite Perrin, the self proclaimed “God Warrior” who earned a peculiar kind of notoriety with her deranged evangelical ranting on Fox’s Trading Spouses, has just released a rap CD.
  None of the four horsemen would comment on the record, but sources close to the quartet confirm that they have, in fact, been saddled up and ready to go for some time, and are merely awaiting “the call.”

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It’s not just me…

March 6th, 2006 by Oskar Kennedy

  As I was flipping in and out of the big awards last night, I found myself chuckling heartily at Jon Stewart, while the crowd in the theater was giggling halfheartedly at best. It led me to believe that Stewart would be getting much bigger laughs if the audience didn’t take itself so seriously. Lo and behold, MSNBC agrees with me.
  I am a gee-nee-us.

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If I shoot my TV, is it crapicide?

March 13th, 2006 by Oskar Kennedy

  Fire up your TiVos, kiddies. An iNDEMAND cable TV special on April 24th is planning a séance that will attempt to contact John Lennon’s ghost. They plan on soliciting the deceased Beatle to channel them lyrics for a new song, which they will then have produced.
  If this works, I suggest that they next try to contact Keven Federline’s talent. Or Tara Reid’s acting ability. Or Paris Hilton’s brain.

  Wait, these are things that never existed.

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Huh.

March 20th, 2006 by Oskar Kennedy

  It turns out that Isaac Hayes probably didn’t quit South Park. Instead, his church quit for him.

  Curiouser and curiouser.

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American Idolatry

January 17th, 2007 by Oskar Kennedy

  In every city where tryouts are held, American Idol attracts upwards of 10,000 aspiring one (or fewer) hit wonders. (Justin who?) Obviously, Dawg Man, Drunky McSlurs-a-Lot and Sir Nastypants can’t personally audition that many wannabees in a few days. There has to be some sort of preliminary screening process, where someone decides who goes before the Three Douchketeers and, not incidentally, the largest viewing audience of any current show. Someone’s job is to eliminate the middling talents, and thresh out the most dynamic and the most awful/deluded/mentally disabled contestants to go before the cameras.
  Can you imagine a more horrible thing to hear from a network TV flunky? “Yeah, you’ve got a nice voice, but you’re not really great. And unfortunately, you don’t look like an escaped mental patient or sound like an alley cat being stuffed headfirst into an accordion, so you don’t get to meet the snarky Brit, the 80s pop star, or the former bass player for Journey.”
  I fear for the human race.

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