Who Writes

Oskar Kennedy Oskar Kennedy: Editor, Illustrator, Webgnome

Oskar Kennedy is an underemployed attorney Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. By day, he’s appalled at the influence of superstition and blind belief on contemporary culture, politics and education. By night, he’s asleep.

Oskar is the proud father of an extremely tiny budding skeptic. He finds it inexplicably hilarious to write about himself in the third person.

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Waldorf Van Buren: Columnist, Adjutant General of Confections

Waldorf Van Buren is an accomplished hunter, trapper, and gatherer of obscure pop culture references.

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Jenn DiSanto (Camilla Carter): Author, Professor of Precision Grammar Sciences

Jenn is an editor by day, a job so ass-numbingly dull that it was only a matter of time before she adopted a Muppet/President persona and came crawling back to Suburban Panic!, desperate for a return to her public navel-gazing of yore.

Aside from an unhealthy fascination with The Girls Next Door, Jenn has little to no shame about her pop culture junkie-hood, including but not limited to memorized standup comedy bits and an uncanny ability to recall at the drop of a hat all the actors’ names from Blossom. She has an on-again/off-again relationship with the serial comma, and a severe aversion to dusting her apartment.

In her free time, Jenn enjoys martinis, bar trivia, booksignings, and non-insipid chick-lit. She likes Whole Foods, but prefers Wegmans, because sometimes Mama needs Pop-Tarts (and given proper provocation and hormone levels, she’d bitch-slap your mom to get ‘em).

Jenn’s life goals include finding a place to live that doesn’t have any major sewage problems, creating her own sundae for Cold Stone Creamery, and getting just in shape enough to not get winded while brushing her teeth.

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Scooter Grant: Correspondent, Minister of Party Loyalty

Scooter Grant was born in Ohio in 1822. She attended college on an ROTC scholarship but dropped out before completing her B.A. (Mixology). After a tour of duty in Iraq during the first Gulf War, she settled in Philadelphia, where she’s now the resident stage manager at that city’s Appomattox Vaudeville Theatre. Though completely tone deaf, Scooter is also the road manager of the well-known funk ensemble Mr. Teeth and the Magnetic Havoc.

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Foo-Foo McKinley: Contributor, Captain of Asteroid Defense

Foo-Foo McKinley is an office temp, currently working as a proofreader. She is a returning college student, in hot pursuit of her Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting. When she is doing neither of the above (or rather, while she’s doing either of the above) she can be found perusing Internet social-networking sites, including Facebook and Twitter, and looking for funny/interesting articles on science, pop-culture, religion and politics.

She loves dinner parties, geek television (name a sci-fi show and she’s probably addicted to it), reading, writing and poop jokes. Foo-Foo lives with her wonderful husband and three cats in a small rural/suburban town, and hopes to start a family soon.

- Read all posts by Foo-Foo McKinley -

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